To Build the Life You Really Want
By Motivational Keynote Speaker and Human Relationship Expert Connie Podesta
Ever hear that saying that says before you can grab hold of what you really want you’ve got to let go of what’s you’re currently holding on to so tightly? That’s what I want to talk about in this article. Those things that no longer serve you and those things that frankly, NEVER did. Let them GO so you can be happier. More successful. More balanced. Less stressed. And for some of you – a whole lot more fun to be around. (Ouch!)
Ready to dig in a little and see if any of these are something YOU might need to QUIT starting today?
- Playing the victim. If your life is not where you want it to be for heaven’s sake STOP looking to your parents, your past, your partner, or anyone or anything else right now. Some of the biggest success stories in our lifetime have come through things most people could not even fathom and have used those experiences as foundations beneath them rather than roadblocks before them. The choice is yours to be a victim or a hero in your own story. What’s it going to be?
- Making excuses. Oh my, this is a good one. The truth is that we can and will make the time, energy, and effort for the things we truly want when we STOP making excuses for why we can’t or don’t have them. Playing at the top of your game, achieving high level success, and sustaining powerful, positive relationships is not always going to be a walk in the park. It’s that simple. But when you put in the time? The real work? The commitment? When you shake off whatever roadblocks are in the way and you’re giving it your all – excuses will be a thing of the past.
- Giving someone ELSE the reins to YOUR life. Listen, I know that a lot of times it’s way easier to let someone else make all the decisions. The choices. The direction. Easier? Maybe. Healthier? Absolutely not. Not when it comes to the real stuff. The important decisions and life choices that determine who you are and where you’re heading. Those belong to you. And while you may have a spouse or partner who of course influences those decisions – you are the author of your own story. Write it well.
- Doubting yourself. Here’s the thing – for most people, about 98% of the stuff that keeps them up at night, and they worry over, will never even come to fruition. Keep things in perspective. If you can honestly look at a situation and future-pace it and realize that a year from now it won’t matter in the least, stop with the doubt and worry. Be your own best champion. Realize that there are things about you that make you absolutely unique and valuable – and lean in to celebrate those traits.
- Judging yourself. Enter the coulda, shoulda, woulda’s. The “I’m too this” or “not enough that talk”. The truth is a lot of people put a lot of stock into being their own worst critic and it has got to stop. You are the advocate that you will take with you throughout your entire life. Doesn’t it just make sense to be as kind to yourself as you are to others? You don’t need to keep up with the Jones, or the latest reality show family, or anyone else for that matter. You just need to bring your best self to the day – every day.
- Judging others. This one is a big one too. A lot of people spend so much time judging and worrying about what others do or have that they take their eyes off their own “prize” – which is their own relationships, career, family, and aspirations. Don’t worry what others are doing – or getting – some of the best advice you can ever take is to simply “stay in your own lane”.
- Letting the past define you. Right? So you messed up in the past? Made some mistakes? Married the wrong person? Lost a job? Said an unkind word? Took a wrong turn? So what? So has everyone else in this world for the most part and that’s all right. The past is the past and living in it, worrying about it, obsessing over it – is robbing you of the right here and right now. Speak to any top producer, in any industry – and you know what they will tell you? Live in the present. Seize every day with all that you have. Own it and everything about it. Let the past be part of the foundation but leave it for what it is. What’s important is what’s in front of you today.
- Saying I can’t. This one drives me crazy. Can’t or won’t? Because if it’s really important to you then there’s always a way. “I can’t” is a quick way to shut down your mind to the possibilities. It’s a shortcut to a disengagement. And it has no place in the vocabulary of someone intent on building the future, the life they truly want.
- Playing the blame game. Seriously? It’s ALWAYS someone else’s fault? Here’s what the most successful people do every day: They own it. All of it. Triumphs and screw ups. Right moves and wrong turns. And even in the case where someone else does play a factor, they realize they may have played a part.
- Getting in your own way. The truth is that we live in a world with almost limitless possibility for those who work hard and have vision. Too often we really are the only ones standing in the way because we are letting things like the other nine things on this list hold us back. We tell ourselves we can’t. Our pride or stubbornness turns into a brick wall that is tough to scale. Our belief systems are out of whack. Change the channel friends. Start saying “I can”. Start fueling your mind with the incredible resources that we have today. Do you realize at no other time in history have we had so many opportunities to learn and better ourselves available to us twenty-four hours a day seven days a week? That’s mind boggling. Smash the glass ceilings. Scale the walls. Blow past the roadblocks. And kick those shoulda, coulda, woulda’s to the curb. This life? Yours for the taking – so get out of the way.
The amazing thing is once you STOP with all the stuff that’s holding you back you can align yourself with the people, mindsets, strategies and solutions that will allow you to START building the life you really want. I challenge you today to make that happen.
Connie Podesta is a game-changing, idea-generating ball of fire whose rare blend of humor, substance, style and personality have made her one of the most memorable, in-demand speakers in the world today. 25 years. Two million people. 1000 organizations. Hall of Fame speaker. Award-winning author. Seven books. Former Radio/TV personality. Comedienne. Human Relations Expert. Therapist for 30 years. Topics on sales, leadership, change, life balance and success. And (what we all probably could use now and then)…a Comedienne. To learn more about her strategies, insights, and solutions, visit her online today at www.conniepodesta.com. While you’re there – read the first chapter of her powerful new eBook Redefining Happiness.