Empathy in sales is what wins deals now. As a sales keynote speaker, I’ve watched hard selling fail again and again, here’s how to make the shift .
By Connie Podesta, Sales Keynote Speaker
I’ve spent years on stage as a sales keynote speaker, and here’s what I know for sure: the old school of hard selling is out. The pushy pitch, the pressure close, the “what will it take to get you into this car today” routine? Done. Retired. Nobody misses it.
What’s in? Empathy in sales. And it might be the most powerful tool your team isn’t using yet.
Yes, you heard me right.Empathy in sales is the game-changer a LOT of sales professionals didn’t know was missing from their toolkit. And as competition heats up in every industry, your ability to genuinely understand and relate to your customers may be the one thing that sets you apart from everyone else who sells what you sell.
Why Empathy in Sales Matters More Than Ever
Empathy in sales is the ability to understand a customer’s situation, pressures, and goals from their point of view, and then use that understanding to guide them toward the right solution. It isn’t a soft skill. It’s a trust-building skill, and trust is what closes deals.
Here’s why it matters right now. Today’s buyers would honestly rather not talk to you at all. Gartner found that 67% of B2B buyers prefer a rep-free buying experience, up from 61% the year before. And in an earlier survey, Gartner reported that 73% of B2B buyers actively avoid suppliers who send irrelevant outreach.
Ouch. But read that again, because it’s actually good news.
Buyers aren’t saying they hate salespeople. They’re saying they hate being sold. They hate wasted time, generic pitches, and people who clearly haven’t listened. That same Gartner research found buyers still want a seller’s input when it comes to the big question: does this actually fit MY company’s needs? That’s a question only an empathetic salesperson can answer well.
And it’s not just B2B. A 2025 global study from Zurich Insurance, developed with Stanford neuroscience Dr. Jamil Zaki and surveying more than 11,500 consumers across 11 countries, found that 73% of people would avoid companies that show a lack of empathy.
Translation: when a customer finally decides to talk to a human, that human had better be worth it.
Empathy: Your Secret Sales Weapon
Think about the last time you made a purchase. What influenced your decision?
Chances are, it wasn’t a pushy sales pitch. Who wants to be “sold” these days? Nobody. Not you, not me, and definitely not your customers.
No, it was more likely someone who listened. Someone who understood what you needed (sometimes better than you did) and offered a solution that felt tailored just for you. That’s empathy in action!
Empathy lets you walk in your customers’ shoes, even if just for a moment. It’s more than understanding their needs. It’s connecting with them on a deeper level. That connection builds trust, and trust is the foundation of every successful sale.
What Empathy in Sales Is NOT
With my background in psychology, I can tell you this is where a lot of salespeople get tripped up. Empathy is not:
- Being a pushover. You can understand a customer’s concern completely and still hold firm on price.
- Agreeing with everything. Understanding someone’s point of view doesn’t mean adopting it.
- Sympathy. Sympathy says “I feel sorry for you.” Empathy says “I get it, and here’s how I can help.”
- A technique. The minute empathy becomes a tactic, people can smell it a mile away.
Empathy is strength. It takes confidence to stop talking, put your agenda aside, and focus completely on someone else.
5 Ways to Put Empathy to Work in Your Sales Process
1. Listen actively (and forget the script)
Pay attention to what your customers are REALLY saying, not just the words, but the worry, the hesitation, and the excitement behind them. Then respond to their actual needs, not the next line in your pitch deck. If you’re busy planning what to say next, you’re not listening.
2. Ask the right questions
Dive deeper with questions that help you understand the customer’s situation. Get to the heart of what they truly want. A few that work beautifully:
- “What made this a priority right now?”
- “What happens if you don’t solve this?”
- “What didn’t work the last time you tried to fix it?”
- “What would a great outcome look like for you six months from now?”
3. Name what they’re feeling
When you hear frustration, say so. “It sounds like your last vendor really let you down.” That one sentence tells the customer you’re paying attention, and it lowers their guard faster than any feature list ever could.
4. Be genuine
People can spot insincerity instantly. Let your empathy come from a real desire to help, not a desire to hit quota. If your product isn’t the right fit, say so. You’ll lose the sale and win the referral.
5. Tailor the solution, not just the pitch
Remember that 73% of buyers avoiding irrelevant outreach? Relevance IS empathy. Use what you’ve learned to show exactly how your solution fits their world, their role, and their goals. Generic gets ignored. Personal gets remembered.
Empathetic Selling vs. Old-School Hard Selling
Why Empathy Works
Incorporating empathy into your sales strategy does more than improve customer relationships. It strengthens your entire sales process.
When you understand your customers’ perspectives, you’re better equipped to meet, and exceed, their expectations. Objections come up earlier and more honestly, so you can address them instead of being blindsided at the finish line. Customers feel more confident in their decision, and Gartner’s research shows that matters: buyers with high decision confidence are twice as likely to report a high-quality deal.
The result? Higher satisfaction, more repeat business, and customers who can’t wait to tell their friends and colleagues about you. That’s the kind of marketing money can’t buy.
Want a Sales Keynote Speaker Who Brings This to Your Team?
So, are you ready to stop selling and start connecting? Dive into this approach and watch both your sales numbers and your customer relationships flourish. And if you want your whole team on board, that’s exactly what I do as a sales keynote speaker: make the case for empathy in a way that’s funny, practical, and impossible to forget.
Related reading: Quit Defining Sales the Same Old Way
Need help growing YOUR sales team with the right strategies, insights, and solutions? Contact me about bringing my sales keynote, Sales Like You Never Heard It Before, to your next sales kickoff or conference.
Frequently Asked Questions About Empathy in Sales
What is empathy in sales?
Empathy in sales is the ability to understand a customer’s situation, concerns, and goals from their perspective, and use that understanding to recommend the right solution. It builds trust, reduces resistance, and leads to stronger long-term customer relationships.
Is empathy in sales the same as being nice?
No. Being nice is about manners. Empathy is about understanding. An empathetic salesperson can still negotiate firmly, push back, and hold their price. They just do it with a clear understanding of what the customer actually needs.
How can sales teams build empathy?
Sales teams build empathy by practicing active listening, asking deeper discovery questions, reflecting back what customers are feeling, and tailoring every recommendation to the customer’s specific situation. It’s a skill that improves with practice, coaching, and leadership that rewards relationships over quick wins.
Why are buyers avoiding salespeople?
Research from Gartner shows most B2B buyers now prefer a rep-free experience, largely because of irrelevant outreach and generic pitches. Buyers still value salespeople who offer real insight into whether a solution fits their needs, which is exactly where empathy makes the difference.
What should you look for in a sales keynote speaker?
Look for real-world sales experience, content that changes how people sell instead of just motivating them for a day, humor that keeps the room engaged, and a willingness to customize the message to your team’s challenges. The best keynotes leave your team with ideas they’ll use on their very next call.
Ready to help your sales team stop selling and start connecting? I’d love to bring my sales keynote, Sales Like You Never Heard It Before, to your next sales kickoff, conference or team meeting. We’ll laugh, we’ll get real, and your team will walk away with empathy-driven strategies they can use on their very next call. Let’s talk about your event.
