Happiness doesn’t deny reality; it helps you navigate it. Choosing joy builds resilience, clarity, and the strength to lead through uncertainty.
When I wrote Redefining Happiness, I was thinking about real people—my clients, audience members, friends, colleagues, and families trying to hold it together. Years later, the message hasn’t aged; it has intensified. We are living in a time when happiness is quietly being pushed to the bottom of the priority list, not because people don’t want it, but because they feel like they’re not allowed to want it.
We are surrounded by noise.
From crisis headlines, political hostility, economic uncertainty, constant comparison, and endless demands, we are inundated. Somewhere along the way, many people began believing that choosing happiness is irresponsible, naïve, or selfish. Let me stop that right now.
There is a shocking number of people who feel guilty about being happy. Guilty about resting. Guilty about joy. Guilty about unplugging. Guilty about being “off the clock.” That guilt is not noble, productive, or healthy.
Here’s the truth no one says loudly enough:
There is a lot in this world we cannot control, and the stress of trying to control it is exhausting people emotionally, physically, and relationally. Chronic stress doesn’t just make you tired; it changes how you think, how you react, and how you show up in your life.
This is where I draw a very firm line. I am not interested in helping people fight for their right to be angry, anxious, bitter, or perpetually overwhelmed. I want people to fight—actively and intentionally—for their right to be happy.
After decades of work as a therapist and human behavior expert, and after speaking to thousands of people every year, I can tell you this without hesitation: when you fight for your happiness with the same intensity you fight for your routines, habits, or the status quo, everything changes. Your relationships improve, your resilience increases, your health stabilizes, your clarity sharpens, and your effectiveness skyrockets. Happiness is not the reward at the end of a perfect life; it is the fuel that helps you live one.
Many people tell me they feel stuck in doom and gloom—and honestly, that makes sense. We are consuming negativity at an alarming rate. News cycles are designed to keep us activated. Social media thrives on outrage. Fear spreads faster than hope. And most people have never been taught how to mentally disengage from that stream without disengaging from reality.
Negativity is not neutral.
It’s a toxin. Prolonged exposure erodes your nervous system, clouds your thinking, and narrows your emotional range. Over time, it doesn’t just affect your mood; it affects your leadership, your parenting, your decision-making, and your capacity for joy. That’s why I’m not gently suggesting happiness anymore. I’m double-daring you to prioritize it.
In my book, I compare happiness to a life raft—and that metaphor matters more than ever. A life raft doesn’t stop the storm or make the waves disappear, but it keeps you from drowning while you navigate rough water. Happiness works the same way. In crisis, it helps you think more clearly instead of catastrophizing. When you’re exhausted, it nudges you toward restoration instead of burnout. When you’re scared, it introduces hope and courage instead of paralysis. When you’re sad, it offers perspective and a pathway forward. When you’re angry, it slows the spiral, softens blame, and brings reason back into the room.
Happiness is not denial; it is regulation. It is not avoidance; it is resilience. In fact, happiness is one of the most powerful natural stabilizers we have. It improves emotional flexibility, strengthens immune response, and restores your ability to respond instead of react. That’s not fluff—that’s psychology.
So today, I want you to do something simple and radical at the same time. Write the words “Be Happy” at the top of your to-do list—not as an afterthought and not as a reward, but as a directive. Then ask yourself, What would someone who values happiness choose next? That question alone can change a day, a relationship, a career, or a life.
If you want to go deeper into redefining what happiness actually looks like for you and your team—not the Instagram version and not the hustle version—I invite you to explore my work and start that conversation. Happiness isn’t something you stumble into; it’s something you claim.
And if you’re ready to raise the happiness baseline of an entire organization—helping people think more clearly, lead more effectively, and show up with energy and purpose—I would love to talk with you about how I can help. Because in a world that feels increasingly heavy, choosing happiness isn’t a luxury. It’s leadership.
