Great leaders don’t chase happiness—they build resilient, purpose-driven teams with clear goals, respect, and accountability.
It’s Time to Shift the Mindset
When did “keeping everyone happy” become a job requirement for leaders? Somewhere along the way, well-meaning advice (and probably a few misguided motivational speakers) convinced managers that ensuring the happiness of their team members should be a top priority. Let me tell you now: it’s not. In fact, it’s time to take that unrealistic and counterproductive expectation off your plate for good.
Happiness is deeply personal. Psychologically, it is impossible for one person to create lasting happiness for another. Sure, you can influence someone’s mood temporarily—buy them coffee, give them a compliment—but happiness is an internal state, shaped by an individual’s values, mindset, and choices. As a leader, your job isn’t to play the role of happiness fairy. Instead, it’s to create an environment where your team can thrive and succeed.
Redefining the Leader’s Role
So, if it’s not your responsibility to make your team happy, what is your role? Simple: your job is to build a work environment that fosters success. This means creating a climate that is functional, safe, respectful, fair, and purpose-driven. Your responsibility is to set clear expectations, ensure access to resources, and remove barriers to high performance.
What it’s not about is micromanaging your employees’ emotions or overcompensating with external motivators. Why? Because excessive external motivation can actually reduce an employee’s internal drive. When leaders over-rely on perks, praise, or pressure to “boost morale,” it shifts the focus away from intrinsic motivation—that inner desire to achieve, contribute, and grow. And once you diminish that, it’s hard to rebuild.
Stop Chasing Rainbows and Unicorns
Let’s be real: work is work. It’s not a vacation or a theme park. Employees are hired to contribute, solve problems, and deliver results—often in challenging, high-pressure environments. And that’s okay. It’s why they’re compensated.
A leader’s energy should go toward helping their team develop resilience, adaptability, and professionalism—not shielding them from the natural stresses of a dynamic workplace. Hard work isn’t always fun, but it’s rewarding when done in an environment that encourages respect, growth, and collaboration.
Diagnosing Performance Issues: Unable vs. Unwilling
When employees aren’t performing to expectations, many leaders default to the assumption that they’re unhappy. But unhappiness is often a symptom, not the root cause of poor performance. Instead of trying to “cheer them up,” dig deeper and ask yourself: Is the employee unable or unwilling to meet expectations?
Unable: If an employee lacks the skills, knowledge, or resources to succeed, that’s a leadership challenge you can tackle. Provide training, coaching, tools, and feedback to help them grow. Empower them with the support they need to bridge the gap.
Unwilling: If an employee has the resources and training but refuses to meet expectations, that’s a different issue. Your job then is to address the situation with fairness and clarity, and, if necessary, take steps to transition them out of the role. Retaining an unwilling employee can erode team morale and productivity, so act decisively and respectfully.
Building a Culture of High Performance
Instead of chasing the impossible goal of making everyone happy, focus on creating a culture where:
- Respect is non-negotiable: Employees treat each other with dignity and professionalism.
- Effort is recognized: Hard work and perseverance are celebrated.
- Growth is supported: Employees are given opportunities to learn, improve, and excel.
- Expectations are clear: Ambiguity kills productivity. Make sure everyone knows what success looks like.
- Accountability is embraced: Team members own their responsibilities and deliver results.
Lead By Example
Your team looks to you as their guide. If you’re modeling resilience, hard work, and positivity, they’ll follow suit. If you’re consistent in addressing issues, setting boundaries, and maintaining high standards, your team will thrive in the culture you’ve built. Leadership isn’t about being the source of everyone’s happiness—it’s about being the foundation of their success.
Final Thoughts
Leaders, stop trying to be everything to everyone. Instead, focus on creating a workplace that empowers your team to rise to the challenge. Address skill gaps, remove obstacles, and model the behavior you expect from others. Happiness is an inside job—but a thriving, high-performing workplace? That’s your job, and it starts with leadership that’s focused, fearless, and future-ready.
To learn more about this topic, check out my short video above, “Quit Trying to Make Everyone Happy,” which is part of my series called Top 10 Things You Need to Quit to Be a Better Leader. Click here to check out my YouTube channel.
If you’re ready to transform your leadership approach and create a team that’s resilient, productive, and purpose-driven, I’m here to help. Together, we’ll ditch outdated leadership myths, tackle performance challenges head-on, and build a culture of accountability and success. Let’s make it happen—reach out today to book me for your next training or event!
