The #1 mistake leaders make? Ignoring bad behavior. Silence sends the wrong message—and reinforces the very actions you want to stop.
After more than 25 years as a human behavior expert and leadership keynote speaker, I’ve been asked every version of this question:
“What’s the one thing leaders can do to get better results, more productivity, and stronger teams?”
My answer is always the same—and it surprises people every time.
Stop ignoring behavior you don’t want repeated.
Sounds simple, right? But it’s the most common leadership mistake—and the most costly. Because every time you avoid addressing a problem, you’re not just tolerating it—you’re training it to continue.
Why Leaders Ignore—and Why It Backfires
Let’s be honest. Most people hate confrontation. It’s uncomfortable. Awkward. Emotional. So they look the other way. They make excuses. They hope it’ll just “work itself out.”
Spoiler alert: It won’t.
In fact, here’s the psychological truth: When you ignore a behavior, you reinforce it. Silence = approval. So when an employee shows up late, underperforms, gossips, or resists change—and gets zero feedback? Their brain logs that as, “Cool. This is acceptable here.”
Now it’s not just their problem. It’s yours.
Leadership is a Feedback Game
Every moment you lead, you’re giving one of three responses:
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Positive feedback
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Negative (but constructive) feedback
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No feedback at all (aka: the silent green light)
Here’s what Psychology 101 tells us:
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Humans crave positive reinforcement: love, appreciation, recognition, and respect.
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We’ll repeat whatever gets us those rewards.
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We’ll avoid what brings fair, respectful negative feedback—if it’s delivered well.
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But in the absence of any feedback? We assume we’re doing great.
That’s why ignoring bad behavior sends the wrong message—and why leaders MUST speak up.
Let’s Break It Down: Your 4 Feedback Options
1. Positive Feedback for Negative Behavior (a BIG mistake)
Yes, this happens more than you think.
When poor performers coast by with no accountability—and still get paid, still get shifts, still get “atta boys”—that’s positive reinforcement for negative behavior.
If someone can show up late, phone it in, and still collect a paycheck, they won’t change. Why would they? A paycheck is powerful positive feedback.
2. Negative Feedback in a Positive Way (the Gold Standard)
This is your leadership sweet spot.
Be direct, not demeaning. Specific, not vague. Timely, not delayed. Talk to them—not about them. Address behavior, not character. Let them know:
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What isn’t working
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Why it matters
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What you expect instead
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How they’ll be supported to improve
And yes, brace for pushback. Most people get defensive. That’s human. Stay calm. Stay kind. Stay clear.
3. Negative Feedback in a Negative Way (Leadership Fail)
This includes yelling, sarcasm, manipulation, or passive-aggressive behavior. Don’t go there.
Negative delivery breeds resistance, resentment, and revenge. You might feel momentarily powerful—but you’ve just lost trust, morale, and any chance of long-term change.
Remember: You can’t bully people into greatness.
4. No Feedback at All (The Silent Killer)
This is the worst choice of all. Ignoring problems doesn’t make them disappear—it makes them spread. One unchecked behavior can tank team morale, productivity, and trust.
And here’s the harsh truth: If you consistently avoid hard conversations, you shouldn’t be in leadership. Leadership requires courage, clarity, and compassion. And yes—sometimes confrontation.
What Extraordinary Leaders Do Differently
They don’t pretend problems don’t exist.
They:
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Address issues early
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Give feedback often
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Coach with empathy
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Set high expectations
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Lead with example, not ego
They know feedback isn’t about being right—it’s about being effective.
Because real leadership isn’t about control. It’s about influence. Growth. And impact.
Final Thought: You’re the Example. Act Like It.
Leadership is one of the most powerful roles you can play in someone’s life. You set the tone. The standard. The culture.
What you tolerate, you teach. What you reinforce, you replicate. What you ignore, you endorse.
So the next time something rubs you the wrong way? Don’t shove it down. Speak up. Not with anger—but with intention. Clarity. Respect.
That’s how great leaders shape behavior—and build teams people actually want to be part of.
Want your leaders to learn how to give feedback that fuels performance—not friction? Book my keynote StandOut Leadership…Like You’ve Never Heard It Before!
Let’s make confrontation less scary—and growth more consistent.
Here’s a little video you can share at your next leadership meeting…
Want a team that performs at the top? Start leading with clarity, not comfort. Contact me today to inquire about the leadership topics that are keeping audiences at the edge of their seats (and the results pouring in for years to come!)
