Great leaders avoid loneliness by quitting habits that isolate them and focusing on connection, purpose, and fun—on and off the job.
By Leadership Keynote Speaker Connie Podesta
We’ve all heard it: “It’s lonely at the top.” And research keeps backing it up. Surveys of executives, entrepreneurs, and team leaders consistently reveal that many feel isolated, unsupported, and unsure who to trust. The weight of responsibility, the pressure to perform, and the myth that you’re supposed to “have it all together” 24/7? It’s exhausting—and lonely.
I get it. I really do. I travel alone. Work alone. Eat in restaurants alone. And spend more nights in hotel rooms than I care to count. And while I’m naturally extroverted and thrive on connection, I’ve had to learn how to not feel lonely, even when I’m physically alone. That mindset shift? It’s a game-changer.
After 35+ years coaching leaders in every industry imaginable, here’s what I’ve learned: loneliness has less to do with how many people surround you, and more to do with how authentically connected you feel.
Great leaders know this. And more importantly, they do something about it.
Here are 10 things exceptional leaders quit doing—so they don’t just survive leadership… they actually enjoy it.
1. Quit Thinking Leadership Means Going It Alone
Yes, the buck stops with you—but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t collaborate, ask for input, or lean on your team. Too often, I hear leaders say, “I had to make the call myself.” But then I find out… they chose to go it alone. And often? It backfired. True leadership doesn’t mean you’re the smartest in the room—it means you invite the smartest people in.
2. Quit Isolating Yourself from Other Leaders
One of the best ways to battle loneliness? Build relationships with people who walk the same walk. Connect with other leaders in your industry—or even outside it. Some of my best friendships are with fellow speakers who get it. We share ideas. We vent. We laugh. And we remind each other we’re not alone. You’d be amazed how universal leadership challenges really are.
3. Quit Skipping Industry Events (Yes, You’re Busy—Go Anyway)
I keynote conferences all the time, and I constantly hear, “I wish my boss had come to this.” Don’t be that boss. Conferences aren’t just about breakout sessions—they’re about the hallway conversations, the cocktail chats, the new ideas that spark when smart people gather. Even one great takeaway (or new connection) can be a leadership lifeline.
4. Quit Letting Your Job Be Your Only Identity
Loving what you do is amazing. Letting it consume your entire sense of self? Not so much. When all your confidence, fulfillment, and purpose are tied to your role, setbacks feel catastrophic. Develop hobbies. Build relationships outside work. Invest in yourself, not just your title. Life gets richer—and less lonely—when your identity has multiple dimensions.
5. Quit Forgetting That Leadership Skills Are Life Skills
Great leaders listen. Adapt. Stay calm in chaos. Problem-solve. Communicate. Guess what? Those same skills make you a better parent, partner, friend, neighbor, and human. When you apply your strengths beyond the boardroom, your relationships get stronger—and your sense of belonging grows.
6. Quit Saying You Don’t Have Time for Friends
I hear it all the time: “I’m too busy for friendships.” But quality relationships don’t require hours a day. Send a text. Share a meme. Grab coffee between meetings. Different friends serve different purposes—and they all matter. A simple “thinking of you” can keep a connection alive, and give you a much-needed boost when the job feels heavy.
7. Quit Pretending You Have All the Answers
No one expects you to be perfect. (And if they do? That’s on them, not you.) What your team does expect is humility. Curiosity. A willingness to listen. Nothing isolates a leader faster than a know-it-all attitude. Great leaders ask for input. Admit what they don’t know. And celebrate the brilliance of others.
8. Quit Putting Fun on the Back Burner
Seriously—when did fun become a four-letter word in leadership? Too many leaders I work with have forgotten how to laugh, play, and enjoy the ride. And that’s not just sad—it’s dangerous. Burnout thrives in joyless environments. Infuse your day with humor, creativity, and play. Find your spark again. It’s hard to feel lonely when you’re genuinely having fun.
9. Quit Leading Without Purpose
If your only goal is to hit metrics or climb the ladder, loneliness will sneak in fast. You need a why—a driving force that fuels your passion and reminds you why you chose this path in the first place. Mine? Helping people understand people. What’s yours? Make it bigger than your title. Make it meaningful. Make it matter.
10. Quit Living Out of Alignment with Your Values
Loneliness often shows up when you’re not living the life you truly want. I ask coaching clients all the time: “What does your ideal life look like?” They’ll say, “More time with family. Better health. Less stress. A job I love.” Then we look at their reality… and it’s the opposite. Realignment takes honesty. And courage. But when your actions reflect your values? That’s when fulfillment—and connection—return.
The Bottom Line:
Leadership doesn’t have to be lonely. But staying connected—to yourself, your team, your friends, and your purpose—takes intention. And sometimes? It means quitting the habits that hold you back.
Want more real talk (and a whole lot of laughs)?
Check out my book, Happiness is Serious Business. It’s packed with strategies for leading—and living—with more joy, impact, and heart.
If your team needs a shift, let’s talk. With a bold mix of psychology and humor (plus a little tough love), I help audiences rethink what leadership really means.
Contact me today and let’s make leadership less lonely—and a whole lot more fun.
