Quit the Negative Self Talk

Bottom line? Communication Starts Within. Rewrite old scripts, embrace assertiveness, and protect your well-being for stronger connections and a better you.

The new year brings reflection, resolutions, and often—self-doubt. In a chaotic world filled with uncertainties, it’s easy to let old fears, negative self-talk, and unresolved emotions dictate how we communicate with ourselves and others. But here’s the truth: communication starts within.

So much of how we react and interact with people stems from the “old tapes” playing in our heads—those outdated, negative scripts that attach unwarranted meaning to what’s happening in the here and now.

Sometimes, those instincts are protective. Intuition is a powerful force designed to steer us away from harm. But other times, they’re sabotaging. These reactions are rooted in outdated beliefs or unresolved issues that no longer serve us.

Take relationships, for example. A common scenario? Dragging the baggage of past relationships into new ones. Whether it’s a second marriage, a budding partnership, or even professional dynamics, the ghosts of “what was” can haunt “what could be.”

The key? Pause. Reflect. Respond.

Before reacting, ask yourself: Am I responding to this situation or person—or something or someone from my past?

A great tool for assertive communication is the art of clarifying. Try this:

“So, what I heard you say is ______. To me, that feels like ______. Is that what you meant?”

This approach replaces passive assumptions with active understanding. And we all know what they say about assumptions, right?

Tuning Out the Negative Narrator

Sometimes, the toughest conversations aren’t with others—they’re with ourselves. Those nagging internal monologues whisper things like:

• “I’m not good enough.”
• “I should’ve, would’ve, could’ve…”

It’s time to press STOP on that narrative. No one was born to be mediocre, to stay unfulfilled, or to remain stuck in the same mental loop. You hold the power to choose the direction of your thoughts, which in turn determines the trajectory of your life.

The Intentionality of Communication

Assertive communication isn’t just about expressing yourself; it’s about understanding intent. Ask yourself:

• Is this person’s intent to move the relationship forward?
• Or are they using fear, anger, or manipulation to get their way?

Both are intentional actions, but only one fosters growth and connection. Start every interaction by identifying the outcome you truly want—and communicate with that goal in mind.

Navigating Toxic Dynamics

Of course, not every relationship is conducive to healthy communication. A boss who bulldozes assertiveness. A coworker steeped in aggression. A family member who thrives on negativity. Sound familiar?

Here’s the hard truth: You get to choose what you tolerate. Allowing others to treat you poorly or sabotage your well-being isn’t noble—it’s destructive. Sometimes, the most powerful move is walking away. It protects your self-respect, reinforces your boundaries, and reminds you that you’re worth more than someone else’s drama.

Embracing Change in the New Year

As you step into this new year, take stock of how you’re communicating—with yourself and with others. Ask:

• Is my self-talk lifting me up or tearing me down?
• Are my words fostering connection or creating barriers?

If the answer doesn’t serve your health, happiness, or goals, it’s time for a change. Your well-being—physical, mental, and emotional—is yours to protect and nurture.

This year, let’s focus on reclaiming the power of communication. From within, you can rewrite the narrative, strengthen your relationships, and create the meaningful connections you deserve.

Bottom line? You’re in charge of your story. Make sure it’s one worth telling.

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