Selling gets easier when you understand sales communication styles. Stop talking your way, start communicating theirs, and let comfort, not pressure, close the deal.
Want to close more deals? First, know your audience. Selling gets easier when you understand sales communication styles. Stop talking your way, start communicating theirs, and let comfort, not pressure, close the deal.
If you want better sales results, stronger client relationships, and fewer stalled conversations, start long before the proposal, the pitch, or the follow-up. Start by understanding your buyer’s communication style.
Not demographically. Not generationally. Not by income bracket or job title. I’m talking about how people are wired to communicate.
Over decades of working with sales professionals, leaders, and teams, I’ve seen the same pattern again and again: most salespeople don’t struggle because they lack skill or motivation. They struggle because they ask the right questions to the wrong personality.
The Two Buyer Communication Styles: Relators and Bottom Liners
No model is perfect, but most buyers lean strongly toward one of two sales communication styles.
Relators: the relationship-driven buyer
Relators are the warm and fuzzy people. They want to get to know you. They ask about your family. They share stories. They care about connection, trust, and comfort before they care about numbers, and they build rapport through conversation and shared experience.
Bottom Liners: the task-driven buyer
Bottom Liners want facts. Figures. Graphs. Price. Delivery time. Data. They value efficiency, clarity, and results. They have zero interest in being your friend, and small talk sends them right through the roof. They’re not here to bond. They’re here to make a decision.
Why Salespeople Lose Half Their Deals
Here’s the deal: as salespeople, we fall into those same two groups. And most of us sell the way we prefer to buy, based on our personality type rather than our buyer’s.
Big mistake.
Relators sell warmly, conversationally, and emotionally, and often overwhelm Bottom Liners. Bottom Liners sell quickly, logically, and directly, and often alienate Relators.
When you communicate only from your own style, you are literally leaving half of your sales on the table. I tell my sales audiences: we don’t understand 50% of the world, and 50% of the world doesn’t understand us. To be successful, you have to learn to sell to the people you don’t understand.
And this isn’t just my experience from the stage. A meta-analysis in the Journal of Marketing Research covering more than 31,000 salespeople found that those who adapt their approach to each buyer perform better. That held true in their own ratings, their managers’ ratings, and actual sales results.
Step One: Know Your Own Sales Style
Before you can adapt to others, be honest about who you are.
I’ll go first. I’m a Relator. I love people. I ask questions. I connect dots. I build instant rapport. Early in my career, I couldn’t figure out why some highly qualified prospects seemed irritated by me.
It wasn’t my competence. It wasn’t the value of my offer. I was overwhelming Bottom Liners with warmth when what they wanted was clarity. Once I understood that, everything changed.
The Million-Dollar Sales Question That Reveals a Buyer’s Style
One simple discovery question, easily adapted to any industry, tells you almost everything you need to know about how to sell to someone:
“We’re meeting to talk about my proposal, and we can do this a couple of ways. I know you’re busy, so I could come by, walk you through the information, answer questions, and be out in about 15 to 20 minutes. Or, if you prefer, we could grab lunch, get to know each other a bit, and talk through things more conversationally. What works best for you?”
Their answer tells you exactly how to proceed:
- They choose lunch, conversation, or connection: you’re working with a Relator.
- They choose efficiency, speed, and structure: you’re working with a Bottom Liner.
No guessing. No assumptions. No missteps.
How to Adapt Your Sales Style to the Buyer
Here’s the truth most salespeople don’t want to hear: sales is not about your comfort. It’s about theirs.
How to sell to a Bottom Liner
If you’re a Relator selling to a Bottom Liner, tighten up. Be prepared. Be early. Be clear. Lead with the bottom line (price, timeline, results) and support it with facts.
How to sell to a Relator
If you’re a Bottom Liner selling to a Relator, slow down. Engage. Ask questions. Listen fully. Build trust before pushing toward a decision.
Sometimes that means doing what doesn’t feel natural. Because comfort closes deals. Not yours. Theirs.
5 Ways to Close More Deals Starting Today
- Identify your default style. How you buy is usually how you sell.
- Stop assuming similarity. People who think like you are the exception, not the rule.
- Ask the diagnostic question early. It saves time, money, and frustration.
- Match energy, pace, and priorities. Not personalities, but communication styles.
- Practice flexibility. Adaptability isn’t inauthentic; it’s professional.
When salespeople learn this skill, close rates rise, resistance drops, and conversations feel easier. Not because selling gets simpler, but because it gets smarter.
Beyond Sales: Why Communication Styles Matter Everywhere
This is one of the core principles I teach in my sales keynotes and leadership trainings, because it applies everywhere: sales, management, customer service, and even personal relationships. Once you understand how people communicate, you stop pushing and start connecting. That’s when real results happen.
Ready to take it further? Read Salespeople: Quit Making Excuses. START Making More Sales.
Bring This Sales Training to Your Team
If your sales conversations feel harder than they need to be, or great opportunities keep stalling for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, I can help. In my sales keynotes and trainings, I teach teams to recognize communication styles in real time, adapt without losing authenticity, and create conversations that make clients feel understood and confident saying yes.
Book Connie for your next sales kickoff or leadership event
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the two main buyer communication styles?
Most buyers lean toward one of two styles. Relators are relationship-driven and want trust and connection before numbers. Bottom Liners are task-driven and want facts, pricing, timelines, and results with minimal small talk.
How to identify if a buyer is a Relator or a Bottom Liner?
Ask how they’d like to meet: a quick 15 to 20 minute walkthrough of the proposal, or a lunch to get to know each other and talk it through. Bottom Liners pick the fast option; Relators pick the conversation.
Need to sell to a Bottom Liner?
Be prepared, be early, and be clear. Lead with the bottom line: price, timeline, and outcomes. Support it with data and keep small talk to a minimum.
Eager to sell to a relationship-driven buyer?
Slow down. Ask questions, listen fully, and build trust before asking for a decision. Relators buy from people they feel comfortable with.
Why do salespeople lose deals to communication style?
Most salespeople sell the way they like to buy. When your style doesn’t match your buyer’s, you lose connection with roughly half the people you talk to, no matter how good your offer is.
If your sales conversations feel harder than they need to be, or great opportunities keep stalling for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, I can help. In my keynotes and trainings, I teach teams how to recognize communication styles in real time, adapt without losing authenticity, and create conversations that make clients feel understood and confident saying yes. When your people learn how to meet buyers where they are, results follow. I’d love to bring this message to your team. Give me a call!
